Frequently Asked Questions (that no one has asked yet)

1. Who are you and why are you on my computer?
By day, I’m normal-ish guy who has a day job I probably won’t quit.  By night, I’m the same guy, only I don’t have to wear pants.
I started doing reviews a few years ago because I would go to midnight releases after getting off work and after a few movies, I would post my thoughts.

2. Why the name TemplarKnight?  Sounds more like you should be reviewing swords and armor instead of movies.
Short Answer: I’ve used the screen name TemplarKnight for several years, and I don’t know enough about armor and swords to write worthwhile reviews.
Long Answer: Back in my table-top gaming days, I played a Superhero RPG in which I created a character named Templar.  My old screen name BigUgly73 got accidently blocked in a chatroom, I made a second username TemplarKnight (because Templar was already taken) and just sort of stuck with that one.  I’ve since used that screen name on most of the sites and services I’ve frequented.  So that’s officially my handle.
As much as I would like to review swords and armor, I don’t really know much about Swords and Armor, outside of them being cool (figuratively, wearing armor is generally quite hot).  If you want a good swords and armor guy, I recommend or Skallagrim.

3. What do you review?
Although I intend to post about various different things, the two big things I review are Bad movies and Theater Reviews.  They are generally reviewed a couple different ways:

Bad Movies:  I am going to go ahead and say this is a misnomer, and when I get a more appropriate nomer, I will change this.  Not all the movies I review are actually bad.  In fact, some of them I enjoy the hell out of.  But for the most part, these are movies that have been released on video or streaming services that people may or may not know about.  So I will review them and generally detail out the plot and point out things that are absurd or crazy.  These reviews are generally spoiler heavy, particularly because I don’t believe that many people will actually watch them.

Theater Reviews: These, by definition, are movies that I watch in theaters.  They are likely movies that readers may not have seen yet and might want to know my thoughts before they go see them.  As a result, I try to avoid major spoilers, but in some cases they do happen and I apologize.  In some cases I am trying to warn people.  Because I am not detailing the whole plot, they are generally much shorter, and in some cases are just what I can type out on my phone while the ending credits roll.  Due to this spawning from me going to midnight screenings every week and not necessarily knowing which movie I would see, I always start them with “This week: [Insert Movie]” and then end them with “Next Week: [Insert a combined title of all the movies and maybe a humorous line about the movies].”

4.  How come it says “Next Week: [Insert Movie] but when I go to the next week, you didn’t review that movie?
Back when I started this, it was all based on me going to a midnight screening every week after getting off work at 11pm on Thursday.  I had Fridays off, so that was the start of my weekend.  However, My schedule changed to overnights so I would start work at midnight, so I couldn’t go to midnight screenings anymore.  Also with me getting into a relationship and seeing movies as a couple limits it to going to movies we want to see instead of seeing a movie out of some obligation to tradition.  So as a result I don’t necessarily see a new movie every week.  However, due to me developing a “format” for how I do these reviews, I can’t help myself from checking what comes out the next week and putting “Next Week: [these movies].”  I somehow hope that I will get back to the movie every week format, but unless I get Fridays off again, I don’t see it happening any time soon.


5. Why TemplarKnightsLongDamnReviews? Well, the joke is that it is a play on TL;DR(Too Long; Didn’t Read) because I find that after I’m done writing a review, it is so long that I figure no one will read it. This also means that I have a website address that is so long that no one will want to type it, just to get to reviews that no one will want to read. I could have shortened the web address, but I decided to lean into the joke and just keep the longest damn one I could without getting ridiculous.