So someone I kind of knew on a message board I used to frequent made a movie back in 2017. I forgot all about it and never watched it.
Today I happened to see a trailer for Wally Got Wasted and it made me think of the movie Deny Everything. So I decided why not check it out and maybe review it.
Now the question becomes to I honestly critique it or just go for support only. Eh, we’ll see how it goes.
So the film starts with Jeff dragging around a dead body. He somehow manages to stuff it into a duffel bag that doesn’t quite seem large enough to hold a dead body. He then drags around a very heavy duffel bag through a park.
This is all during the opening credits.
We then meet the other main character, Frank. Frank apparently has some business meeting that falls through just after he bought lunch for everyone, so he decides to take the rest of the day off. As a result he is still in his business suit when Jeff shows up with a dead body in a duffel bag.
Jeff reminds Frank of a promise they made back when they were drunk about helping each other, no questions ask. Well, Frank is calling in that favor. As a result, Frank has a dead body that we never find out why he has it.
Jeff makes a show of sliding the zipper on the already unzipped duffel bag to show Frank the dead body. Frank takes it rather well, all things considered. Though he could probably do without shouting about a dead body in his back yard.
After Frank dons a brilliant disguise in the form of the hat from Fargo and Loser, they try and go to the local Chinese restaurant to try and locate the black market to sell the body off.
I guess craigslist hasn’t hit the UK yet.
Predictably that goes wrong. The next thing they decide is to take their neighbor’s SUV (that everyone keeps calling a truck, stupid Brits), and take the body to the river.
Only problem is there is already a body in the trunk (which they keep calling the boot, stupid Brits). According to Jeff and Frank, the body is dead. You know, despite it clearly breathing. One of these days murderers will learn to keep a paramedic on standby to make sure the job gets done right.
So after they steal the SUV to dump the first body in the river, the owner of the truck, Ashby, comes home to find his suv and dead body have been misplaced. A quick check to his security cameras leads him to Frank and Jeff.
Frank gets a call from Ashby and tells him that dumping the body in the river is a bad idea. You know, just as Jeff is about to throw his dead body in the river, shouting the line, “Return from whence you came!” Frank tackles Jeff and aborts the dead body disposal.
Frank and Jeff decide driving back home is a bad idea and decide to go to Richie’s place. Richie also decided to come home from work early today and manages to walk in on Jeff, Frank, and the dead body. Richie gets to the dead body last.
Richie reminds me a lot of Rocco from Boondock Saints. Generally the third wheel that isn’t all there. This becomes apparent when they end up with the third dead body.
The trio decides to try cutting up the bodies and head to the local hardware store. CUE WEIRD AL!
While at the hardware store, Richie runs into an old friend at the checkout stand who gives him a cricket ball bat and recounts the time he got mugged. As he is telling the story, Richie mindlessly waves the cricket bat around and acts like he is threatening the clerk. The clerk then remembers he owes Richie money and hands Richie the money he owes just before accidently bumping his head on the desk. The clerk then falls over and dies. Sure enough, from the view of the security camera, it appears that Richie is mugging the clerk and kills him with the cricket ball bat.
I mean yes you can see that he hits his head on the desk, not the bat, but try explaining THAT to the British police while you have two other dead bodies.
So they go back to the flat and bemoan what to do when guess who shows up but Ashby. Apparently the SUV(truck) they stole(borrowed) has a tracker in it, but they kept driving around so he had to wait for them to stop bloody moving. Ashby then offers to help them with all the dead bodies, but they have to help him. Evidently he needs to help a secret agent fake his death, thus why he has a dead body in his trunk that looks exactly like the secret agent.
After quite a bit of banter, they storm a warehouse. Ashby waits in the car while Richie, Jeff, and Frank decide how they are going to take out the guards. Richie suggests he will stealth his way in. Jeff suggests he will take on the guards with fisticuffs. Ultimately Frank just walks in and has a conversation with the guard, who is really a nice guy. Then they clobber him over the head. Jeff, Frank, and Richie somehow manage to knock out several of the guards and give Ashby the all clear.
Ashby then tells them to take the dead bodies up the stairs and put them in the room at the top of the stairs. They go up the stairs and find DOZENS OF DEAD BODIES. I say dozens, but they don’t actually say how many. It’s just made clear that there are an uncomfortably large number of dead bodies. So they dump their two dead bodies while Ashby uses his dead body for its intended purpose. Ashby however ends up getting shot in the process. It is up to Frank, Jeff, and Richie to escort the secret agent out of the warehouse of doom. They are met by the organization Ashby works for and after giving the agent to them, they drive off.
So they finally made it through the day and got rid of all their dead bodies. Jeff wants to go home and sleep, but Frank and Richie convince him to go out for a drink. As they are driving off to a bar(pub), they hit someone with their car. Credits roll.
This movie is pretty good. I would say it is Clerks meets Boondock Saints. You know, minus the spectacular violence. Obviously there are some technical errors, such as already unzipped bags being unzipped and breathing dead bodies, but nothing like instagram filter birds or guys confusing the belly button for a vagina. Everyone who has a decent amount of lines play their parts very well and believably. I would say the only noticeable point of bad acting is the taxi driver who drops off Ashby apparently could not say, “Thanks, have a nice day,” convincingly.
I just insulted the director’s dad or something, didn’t I? Anywho, check it out on Amazon Prime.
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