TEMPLARKNIGHT’S FAVORITE HOLIDAY MOVIES
22. The Santa ClausE
Taking a page out of On a Pale Horse, the office of Santa Claus is transferable to the man that murders him. You’d think that would have been Jack Frost’s go to move in the third movie, but no, a convoluted plot with Snow Globes was the better attack plan. Clearly.
This movie is the staple of most Millennial childhoods. You know what is weird about movies that HAVE a Santa Claus? That children get presents from Santa, but apparently both parents just have an unspoken bond that they both believe the other parent got the presents and never brought it up. This movie is apparently willing to send a kid to counseling because he still believes in Santa. What the hell?!?
So I have to fault this movie for screwing up my spelling of Santa Claus. I honestly don’t think I had the correct spelling of Santa Claus until college or later. I kept putting in the E at the end, not aware of the joke. Didn’t help that I didn’t really know what a legal clause was.
One thing I noticed during a re-watch, Tim Allen always gets cast in these heartwarming family movies, but he always starts out playing a VERY convincing self centered jerk to start out. Yes he learns his lessons in the end, but it amazes me how he got so typecast for family friendly.
(Runs a brief check to see if the other Santa ClausE movies are on the list)
Nope, alright, so I can discuss the sequels without stomping on a later post.
Santa Clause 2: I enjoy this one, except it feels like 2 different movies. And honestly I remember it as two different movies. Santa needs to find a Mrs. Clause and -DAMNIT I MEAN CLAUS! Ugh, So he needs to find a Mrs. Claus and deal with his son who is now on the Naughty list. Then you have this whole OTHER movie in which Robo-Santa decides to take over Christmas while Santa is out and when Santa returns he has to battle an army of Toy Soldiers to reclaim his North Pole.
And due to Santa Clause 2 coming out 3 years after Futurama’s “X-Mas Story,” we know EXACTLY who ripped off who.
Futurama ripped off Santa Clause 2, because Futurama takes place in the year 3000.
Santa Clause 3 was garbage. Pure. Simple. Done.
Next Time: Not to mention, ELF Team Six was badass, but gets COMPLETELY outclassed by our next team of military coordinated Elves.