THE WORST HALLOWEEN movies EVER!
Tonight: The Creeping Terror
A little back story. Vic Savage, the star and producer of this film, bought a script from Allan Silliphant, the half brother of Stirling Silliphant(who apparently is a talented writer I’ve never heard of). He then promoted this project as being written by the more famous sibling. He even offered people parts as extras if they invested in the film. Then when production issues went awry and most of the film was shot, Vic Savage skipped town with most of the investors money.
Someone stepped in to salvage the film, finished it in post, and put it on TV. Now we ALL have to suffer.
So 2 minutes into the film, we all suddenly realize how deeply we are screwed. We get about 15 seconds of dialogue between the happy couple and then the narrator starts talking over them explaining everything.
Apparently the original soundtrack was lost and they couldn’t get everyone back to dub the audio, so they just had a narrator tell the full story while people’s lips moved behind the camera. The only thing lazier would be to abridge the whole story and put it online leaving out a bunch of plot moments and set ups to make it seem worse than it is.
Anywho, so Vic Savage’s character plays a sheriff’s deputy that is just coming back from his honeymoon. While on their way home, a space ship crashes(and by crashes, I mean they reverse footage of a rocket launch) in his county and he drives by to investigate. They find the hat of his uncle Ben, the Sheriff, and assume him to be dead. Another deputy walks into the space ship and is killed by a bunch of random sound effects. Unbeknownst to Vic and the army that shows up, a second space mangina managed to get out of the space ship and start eating people.
So the army brings in a scientist to investigate the landing and they decide not to kill the walking munching carpets and not tell anyone of the crisis going on so none of the hot young couples have any clue to run from the creature that only goes about half a mile an hour.
For the rest of the film the scientist stares at various parts of the spaceship, the walking 70’s bush moves a few more feet, and people dance, make out, or do other stuff while oblivious to the impending doom.
Oh, and Vic Savage invites his friend over just so he can watch Vic Savage make out with his new wife. It’s weird.
The monster eats a couple making out, a boy and his grandfather in the woods, an entire dance hall, and then several cars on lovers lane(you know, after humping the cars for a bit).
The army then decides to tell the scientist to shove it and kill the monsters. Vic Savage brings his wife to the scene for some reason. Is she an out of uniform deputy or something? Law enforcement typically doesn’t bring their family along to work.
Anywho, The Army sends about a dozen soldiers against it with guns and they all die. Then the commander decides to use a hand grenade. It works but he was too close and gets injured. The scientist realizes the creature is just a bio machine that eats people to collect data on them. So the scientist goes to the ship to . . . something, the narrator wasn’t talking much during this bit. When he gets there, something blows up in the ship and he is badly injured and the second monster is loose and hungry for science! Then Vic Savage hits the monster with his car and kills it. Hand grenades and 60’s automobiles, the ultimate in anti-alien weaponry. The doctor dies saying the data was transmitted to back to the source and we will have to wait and see what happens. Roll credits.
This movie is drawn out and boring. Honestly it seems like someone was in the editing room and just kept telling the editor to stretch it out some more.
Apparently the monster was originally much more impressive, but someone stole the original so we get the furry slug from space.
Honestly, I’m partially thankful to the narrator because god help me if I had to hear the dialogue that tried to shove all that story down my throat, I would probably go insane.
I suggest watching this via MST3K. I didn’t, because I wanted the pure experiance, but save yourself! DON’T BE A HERO!
Tomorrow: Another MST3K classic, that the show creators described as painful to watch as many times in a week as they had to for the show.