At my parents, still waiting for the Turkey to finish, the Cowboys game is over, and my fiance, sister, and niece are all upstairs playing Macy’s Parade Bingo.

I’m bored.

Hrmm. . . guess I could dust this off for today.


Tonight: Thankskilling

Gobble Gobble Motherf***er!

Thanksgiving really doesn’t get enough love. There are no Thanksgiving songs, very few movies revolve around Thanksgiving, and was completely ignored in the conversion from Halloween to Christmas in Nightmare Before Christmas.

This movie will change none of that, and might even convince people to cancel the thing altogether.

This movie had a budget of $3,500. Thats basically film and camera rentals. No one got paid for this thing. And we got our moneys worth.

The film opens in 1621 with a topless pilgrim woman running from a turkey puppet with Predator vision. She gets killed.

Cut to 505 years later in the year 2008(yeah, I don’t know how any of these kids are in college), and a group of five college students are going on a Thanksgiving day camping trip. . .because this is a thing? Anywho the jeep breaks down and they decide to make camp for the night.

Also in the area, a weird hermit redneck and his dog are lamenting his lot in life when his dog decides to urinate on a miniature totem pole, which resurrects the Turkie Puppet(and yes, that is how they spell his name). The Turkie puppet kills the do- I MEAN THE DOG DECIDES TO LEAVE THE FILM AND GO LIVE ON A FARM.

The college students tell a story about the evil turkie who killed a bunch of pilgrims 505 years ago. No one believes it until one of the girls sees the puppet. Then they wake up the next day and go home.

The Turkie puppet hitchhikes, kills the guy who tries to have sex with him, and then drives to the jock’s home and kills his parents.

Then the turkey puppet kills one of the girls. . . after having sex with her. Movie, why are you trying to have humans have sex with turkeys? Is this your kink? Because. . . gross. I think you are trying to get out of cooking for thanksgiving.

Anywho, the Turkie puppet kills the other girl’s father, cuts off his face, and pretends to be her father. It’s just a cheap rubber mask placed on a cheap rubber puppet. Yeah, college students. My ass.

Turkie is revealed to not be the girl’s father and kills another college student. The remaining students decypher an encrypted problem and determine how to kill the turkie puppet. And then they do half the job and just shoot it. Which seems to kill it.

Until it is revealed that the trash bin it fell into was filled with radioactive waste. Which means it comes back to kill two more guys, before getting set on fire.

Then it comes back as a fully cooked turkey for sequel bait.

Oh and it got a sequel. Maybe next year.

The acting is shitty, but I think it is a fun watch. It’s on amazon prime.

Next time: See you December 1st for THE WORST CHRISTMAS (movies) EVER!

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