John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

This Week: John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)

So, I never saw this movie in theaters.  I held off watching ANY promotional material for John Wick 3 because I was waiting to watch John Wick 2.  I really do not know why I have waited THIS FREAKING LONG to watch John Wick Chapter 2.  I’m pretty sure this was back during the dark times when I just couldn’t make it out to movies as much as I wanted to.  Hell, I still think I’m in those dark times, but I generally manage to make in enough movies to keep things interesting.

Seeing as this movie has been out for 2 years, spoilers.

So we pick up RIGHT where we left off from the first movie where we remember, “Oh yeah, he never DID get his car back, did he?”

The brother of the Russian mob boss from the last film still has John Wick’s car.  He is describing in great detail how unstoppable John Wick is.  When his underling suggests, “How about we just give the car back?”  And he scoffs at the idea.

John Wick arrives, gets in his car, and drives away.  But one of the Russian’s goons crashes into him.  So after getting into a thrilling car chase, John Wick comes back, kills almost all of the Russian’s underlings, walks into his office, has a drink, and declares peace.

Yeah.  You coulda just given him the car back and called it done.  Enjoy posting new Goon postings on Monster.  Is Monster still a thing?

So John goes home to retire again.  Before the concrete even dries, a new douchebag shows up with more mythology.  John apparently used a “marker” to do the impossible task mentioned in the last film.  This binds him to the villain of this film.  He wants John to kill his sister, to get him a seat at the High Table.

John turns him down, and gets his house blown up.  AND HIS DOG IS KILLED AG- nope, wait Dog lives.  And this dog is REALLY well trained.  He follows without a leash, sits when told to, and instantly bonds with the concierge at the Hotel.

We see John go abroad and meet the Italian version of the Hotel.  We then go through a fun little montage of John getting new guns and knives, layouts of the grounds where his target will be, and one of the bulletproof suits from Kingsman’s Tailors.

John then storms the building where the target is, appears out of nowhere behind the douchbag’s sister, and they have a nice little chat before she. . .cuts her own wrists?

All that planning and he didn’t get to use any of his toys.  John: Eh, what the hell, I bought the bullets, might as well use one. (Shoots her as she dies)

Well, he ALMOST doesn’t have to use any of his guns.  Her body guard recognizes him before he leaves, so he ends up having to shoot his way out of the concert.

The villain turns villain and decides to try and kill John Wick.

Dude is not paying attention.

John manages to escape THAT murder attempt, taking a LOT of goons with him.  So Douchebag Villain puts out a $7 Million open contract on John Wick.  John manages to make it back to New York and continues to have a bad day, with random hitmen trying to cash in.  He kills them all, of course, but takes his bumps along the way.

The fight with the Villain’s Sister’s Bodyguard is pretty interesting.  At one point they are walking through a subway station and taking random pot shots at each other while trying to look inconspicuous.  It is HILARIOUS.

John ends up getting the better of him in a knife fight and leaves him on a train to die.

John then pays a homeless man to get him to Laurence Fishburne.  Laurence Fishburne is the leader of an army of homeless people.  Who are packing.

Y’all better start carrying spare change to give away.

John convinces Laurence Fishburne to give him a gun and safe passage to where the Villain is.  Laurence gives him a gun with 7 bullets.  One for each Million on the contract.

John Wick shows up at the Villain’s gala, and after another spectacular amount of violence, the villain runs to the Hotel seeking safe passage.  John shows up, gets his dog back, and decides to just shoot the villain in the head, right in the lounge.

Ian McShane declares John Wick excommunicated.  We get a pretty cool scene where Ian McShane demonstrates his control by revealing that everyone in the park is working for him.  They all stop at the same time, then walk away.  John declares that ANYONE who comes after him will die.  Ian McShane says that is true.  Then Ian McShane burns John Wick’s membership card.

So the third movie is now set up.  Should be fun.

Tomorrow: John Wick: Chapter 3: Parabellum