Spider-man: Far From Home (2019)

This Week: Spider-man: Far From Home (2019)

So we now have 5 movies with Tom Holland as Spider-man and I have to say, this is the one that finally opens him up as Spider-man.

Civil War was great when he took down Sam and Bucky, but since then we have largely seen Spider-man just sort of get by. Homecoming saw him get dragged all over creation by the Vulture and his gang. Infinity War and Endgame he basically was side fiddle to EVERYONE else in the Marvel universe and he was basically just a kid going along for the ride.

This movie has Spider-man finally coming into his own as a hero. And we finally get the high flying webslinging that we’ve been strategically avoiding because apparently people were sick of it with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield?

Do people just not like Spider-man being Spider-man? Do we really just want a kid who is over his head? Cause that is not the lesson I thought we learned from Into the Spider-verse.

Anywho, yeah, this movie is great, but I do need to talk about some stuff, that is Spoilery, so. . .

So, everyone who knows anything about the comics, cartoon, video games, or general history of Mysterio, get your best shocked Pikachu faces ready.

This is a major one.

That’s why I waited so long to post this, because I didn’t want to ruin this big spoiler with my lame blog.

It has nothing to do with basic laziness. It is Vigilance.

Okay, enough buffer. Are you ready?

(Clears throat)

Mysterio is the villain of the movie!

And he’s lying about the multiverse!

And the elementals aren’t real!

I know right?!? Mind blown!

So yeah, apparently it was a REALLY long con in order to get Peter Parker to hand over control of the Stark Satellites which include thousands of murder drones.

You know what Tony, stop handing murder tech to a high schooler. They just aren’t ready for that sort of thing.

So yeah, once Peter buys into Mysterio being the best man to inherit Stark’s satellites and murder drones, Mysterio goes into a long winded speech about his motivations and how his Team managed to pull off this endeavor. Specifically spelling it all out to his team. Which is just out of nowhere and oddly put in.

The rest of the movie is great and makes perfect sense why everything is happening and why things are being done that way. This scene is just weird and forced. Yes it is necessary to spell out why everyone is doing what they are doing and how they are pulling it off, but it needed to go back to formula.

(Speaking of forced. . .)

Okay fine I’ll stop.

One thing that is ACTUALLY kind of surprising is that Nick Fury isn’t Nick Fury.

It works on two levels, cause I said I would stop and then I didn’t.

It was mentioned early on that Numan Acar was cast as “Dimitri.” Well, in the comics, one of the Dimitri’s we know in relation to Spider-man is Dimitri Smerdyakov, also known as The Chameleon! Which would explain why Nick Fury so easily buys into Mysterio’s BS story. Because he’s IN ON IT!

However, turns out Dimitri is just a guy. Nick Fury buys into the story because he doesn’t have the same BS radar that the real Nick Fury has. Nick Fury in this movie is A SKRULL! And the real Fury is IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!

Oh and there is an important mid credits scene that I won’t spoil.

As I said, this movie was great and it is what I wanted from Spider-man for a while. I highly recommend it!

Next Week: StuberCrawl. Stu is an Uber Driver who now has to drive around Alligators in a Florida Hurricane.

Yesterday (2019)

This Week: Yesterday (2019)

Saw Yesterday, Today.

This is an interesting movie. It revolves around the idea that the Beatles and their songs are wiped out of history and only one person, Jack, remembers them at all. Jack then starts releasing their songs as his own and attains worldwide fame as the greatest songwriter of all time.

This is an interesting movie for me to review. I have never really been a huge fan of the Beatles. Hell, for the longest time I thought they were the Beetles, because I didn’t know the pun.

However, I never realized how many freaking Beatles songs I knew until I saw Across the Universe. I kind of had to have it pointed out to me that all the songs in that movie were Beatles songs.

To me, The Beatles were a default band. If you said your favorite band is the Beatles, then you are just going with the safe answer. Like saying your favorite author is Stephen King. Then of course I actually started READING Stephen King and I owe him an apology letter.

This movie actually handles the whole situation realistically. The only reason Jack is able to capitalize on the success on the Beatles is because he already is a songwriter in his own right. Nobody comes to his shows and he is about to quit. When Jack is the only one who remembers the Beatles, he does know how to write and play songs, so he is able to bring them back. However, he does have difficulty remembering the songs and lyrics. Jack also doesn’t immediately take off. He still is playing several shows and almost gives up again due to seeming lack of interest.

Now the question the movie kind of glosses over is whether the Beatles songs, if released today, would be hits. The movie just kind of takes it as a given. Doesn’t matter who sings them. The movie makes a point of demonstrating that the marketing today and marketing music back during the Beatles original rise is very different.

Where the Beatles had full creative control most of the time and got to choose their albums and look, now the music industry has more say in how to market everything.

I’m not necessarily sold on the idea that the songs of the Beatles would be instantly popular today and seen as the “greatest of all time” from the gate. I like Beatles songs fine, but they are very much products of their time. The reason they were successful is because they were reinventing the medium at the time. Hell, the Beatles were edgy. So were the Simpsons. Now both are fairly tame in retrospect.

Do I think that they would be successful? Yes. Take over the world of music? No. I would see them on the same level as Ed Sheeran. Which is more a presence on the pop charts and not dominating the world of music. But then again, I am not a music reviewer, I leave that to Metalloud, ToddintheShadows, and theNeedledrop. That’s just my opinion on how the Beatles would fair today.

Now, there are some things I want to address, but this gets into Spoiler territory, so. . .

So this whole thing stems from all the power in the world going down for about 12 seconds. This is not just things tied to electrical grids, but the lights on vehicles and other battery operated devices also go dark. At the very moment this happens, Jack gets hit by a bus.

When Jack comes to, the Beatles are history- or no longer history, whatever I mean. But several other popular things such as cigarettes no longer exist. I could provide a list, but I figure it is more enjoyable to let them play out.

So main character is in an accident, and when he wakes up, the world is drastically altered. So this movie is all a dream, right?

Wrong. Trope subverted. Somebody snapped the Infinity Gauntlet, wished several things out of existence, and only one(or three) people know about it. As of yet, no one is undoing it, so this is reality.

The movie doesn’t end with Jack waking up and learning the lesson from his dream. Honestly, that was what I was expecting the WHOLE movie. So when the credits started rolling, it was interesting to see that they never went back to the Beatles world.

However, this in turn raises a few questions. For one, what caused all this? What caused the Blackout that wiped out The Beatles and a bunch of other stuff?

Why was Jack and the other two people able to remember everything? Were they ALSO in accidents when the power went out? How many people still know, but just don’t care about the Beatles, so didn’t confront Jack?

What are the rules of this world? Why are things gone now?

Anywho, I think this is pretty good movie. I don’t think it will blow up the box office or win any oscars, but it’s a good film, none the less.

Next Week: Spider-Man: Far From Home. This will be my first proper midnight movie inva LONG time. Gonna suck that I work that day, but oh well.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

This Week: Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

What a nostalgia trip! This really brings back the feeling of watching Godzilla movies as a kid!

You know, not caring one iota about the stupid human storyline and just wanting to watch the giant monsters duke it out.

The monster battles are okay. It is neat to see Godzilla VS King Ghidorha, but it does lose something being all CGI. I personally still like suit-mation. Maybe the Toku lover in me, but I just like it too much to ever be fully okay with CGI-ing everything.

Now the question becomes: Why am I okay with the Hulk and basically the entirety of Age of Ultron, but I find the Transformers and Godzilla movies boring? I tried to argue that it was due to there being actual humans involved in the fights and the cgi was just put in to account for the impossible, but almost the ENTIRETY of the Hulk VS Hulkbuster fight was CGI and I freaking LOVED that one.

Question to be analyzed for another day, perhaps, cause at this point I don’t have a solid answer outside of speed. All the Hulk fights generally have a decent clip of speed to them. Godzilla and Transformers are huge and slow. I just don’t know. Moving on.

The characters motivations in this movie make no sense. It is the standard, “Humans are earths cancer and the monsters are here to course correct,” crazy house nonsense. You can’t cite “war” as a reason to wipe out humanity. Especially when you are using mercenaries to bring about your goals.

Oh, and apparently they are tying in Kong: Skull Island into this series. Something I did not know since I did not see Kong: Skull Island. I am not a fan of King Kong. I watched the second half of Peter Jackson’s King Kong and I felt I saw the majority of it. I guess I need to see the newest Kong film, cause they mention Kong and Skull Island a LOT in this film, but they never show him.

Honestly, it might be neat to check out in IMAX or Dolby, but it is too late now. So I would say skip it. Maybe check it out when it comes to streaming, but it isn’t that great. I would actually recommend some of the more recent Japanese Live Action Godzilla films. They have REALLY improved the suit-mation and generally have better stories. Here is Japan’s opinion on the 1998 Godzilla:

Yeah, officially the shortest monster fight in Godzilla history.

Alright, the Backlog is now clear for Theater Reviews. Finally get back to my normal schedule. Of nothing.

Next Week: Yesterday. I plan on seeing Yesterday, Saturday, even though it came out Today, because Tomorrow I am having dinner with my parents. Can’t wait to say that Yesterday came out Yesterday.

Rocketman (2019)

This Week: Rocketman

IT’S A MUSICAL?!?

Now, I KNEW this was going to be flooded with Elton John songs, but I expected something similar to Bohemian Rhapsody, where the songs were performed in rehearsals and concerts, but nope, goes full on song and dance!

And it is fantastic! . . . if you like Elton John songs, that is. If you don’t, then I don’t know why you would be seeing this movie.

Also, keep in mind that this is Elton John, so there is a man on man sex scene, which I can tell you is not at all uncomfortable to watch on a giant theater screen while crammed into a seat between my wife and my mother.

Ooo, two gifs, I like it!

Because I know less of the history of Elton John than I did of Queen, I don’t know where the historical inaccuracies are. Fortunately we have the INTERNET TO HELP US!

Go look for them if you care, I don’t.

There was fun fact, John Reid was played by Robb Stark in this film. John Reid ALSO appeared in Bohemian Rhapsody, played by Littlefinger. Maybe when we get the Michael Flatley story, John Reid can be played by Jojen Reed!

Or someone else. I dunno, I needed to research this joke more.

(Researches Scottish GoT actors)

F***! Should have gone with Podrick. Oh well, too late to rewrite it now.

Anywho, I highly recommend this one. Definitely best movie that I’ve seen as a married man.

Which does not bode well for the King of All Monsters.

Next Week: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Men In Black: International (2019)

This Week: Men In Black: International (2019)

I kind of liked this one.

Like everyone else, I loved the first Men in Black. I even enjoyed the second. I thought the third one sucked. I mean, everyone tried their best, but the story was lame and I just didn’t care for it.

The villains in this one were AWESOME looking. They are basically cosmic entities. Walking universes.

There is a big twist at the end, but you see it coming from lightyears away.

This movie is fine. However it doesn’t have the same charm and uniqueness of the original Men in Black. It is a decent movie by itself, but it is a franchise limping along simply to keep the rights from reverting back to Marvel.

2 more movies left.

Tomorrow: Rocketman

The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019)

This Week: The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019)

So this movie is just an excuse to have cute things on screen for an hour and a half (roughly). There are three major stories that all kind of come together at the end.

In the first movie it was just one major narrative that kind of flowed through each of the characters. This one ignored that style and just plopped three different stories down.

Ultimately it is kind of a drop off from the first movie. It seems like a lot of the various pets that made an appearance in the last film just kind of dropped off. The rocking dogs are gone. The bird appears only to get briefly eaten. Duke gets full on relegated to a background character, just there for punchlines. It misses a lot of the heart that was in the first film. But the film is cute. It also still has plenty of humor.

All in all: Cute. Not an progressing the franchise, but cute. I recommend waiting for home release.

3 more movies til back to current!

Next Week: Men In Black: International

Aladdin (2019)

Considering the last thing I posted was John Wick, I guess this would be most appropriate:

tenor.gif

So where did I leave off. . .oh yeah:

This week: Aladdin (2019)
aladdin_lamp_poster

So I haven’t been watching the Disney Live Action Remakes.  God, if I thought of it ahead of time, I should have done a “WE’RE DOING IT LIVE!” Disney Marathon prior to watching Aladdin.

The only other Live Action Disney Remakes I saw were Cinderella and Malificent(which I’m not sure counts since they left out all the songs and got the story wrong).  Cinderella was okay, but kind of underwhelming.  I keep meaning to see the other Disney films, but for one reason or another have not brought myself to watch them.

I don’t think any of them look particularly bad, but I guess I just am meh on them.

Aladdin is a decent movie, the only problem is that you are sitting there the entire movie comparing it to the Animated movie you already know and love.  It makes a point to redo everything simply so it doesn’t do the same thing.  It is like a singer taking a song you know and changing up the pace and trying to make it their own.  It’s nice, but the entire time you are trying to keep pace with the song in your head that you already know and now your timing is off.  It doesn’t make the new version bad, just not what you are used to and you end up not caring for it.

Gonna move into spoiler territory.  Bring protection.

*SPOILERS*

5eb04884e0e799aedab425e0b9c86599

So we all know the basic story, Aladdin is a street rat who runs into the Princess in disguise and then ends up helping Jafar recover the magic lamp, but curse his sudden but inevitable betrayal. Then Aladdin finds out the lamp has a Genie and he wishes to be a prince but Jafar steals the lamp and then gets tricked into the wrong wish and itty bitty living space.

So I will give some thoughts on some of the changes made while adapting the movie to live action.

Apparently the reason Aladdin is a poor street rat is mainly due to installing hide away stairs leading up to his pent house. Seriously, he pulls a lever and wooden beams slide out of the wall to form a staircase.

While all the singing in Aladdin is good, it looks weird while Aladdin is “running” away from the Guards. Sadly live action just doesn’t easily lend itself to the fluid grace that animation does.

Oh and Jasmine gets her own song. It’s a good song, but a jarring change of pace from the rest. Hell, she even pauses the movie and snaps everyone around her out of existence Thanos Style in order to have her music video moment.

She then calls bulls*** on Jafar’s first wish. Jafar wishes to be Sultan and Genie uses his ULTIMATE COSMIC POWER TO . . .switch hats? And the guards just go along with it. Until Jasmine has her Zack Time Out and then decides to point out that he ISN’T the true Sultan.

This works for about 5 seconds until Jafar makes the sorcerer wish. Which ACTUALLY works. Until Aladdin outsmarts him with the “make me a Genie” wish.

Genie also has his own love story. While Aladdin is making awkward moves on Jasmine, Genie is making equally awkward moves on her Hand Maid. We know it works out because they open the movie with them on a boat with a couple of kids.

Sadly they didn’t do an after credits “made you look!” So that alone makes the whole movie a failure.

So I got about 4 movies in my backlog, plus all the Dark Universe films to get back to.

Next “Week”: The Secret Life of Pets 2