THE WORST HALLOWEEN movies EVER!
Tonight: Howling 2: Stirba Werewolf Bitch OR Your Sister is a Werewolf!
Yeah, the title I watched it under was Your Sister is a Werewolf, but apparently the UK title was Stirba Werewolf Bitch, so I went with the Rocky and Bullwinkle joke.
When I kept seeing this movie pop up on “Worst horror movies” lists, I wrote it off as just being a poor movie, but didn’t think it would fit with Plan 9 and Nudist Colony of the Dead. Then I found out Reb Brown was in it.
Reb Brown is the action movie star you get when your budget is whatever you can panhandle that week. I recommend watching The Spoony Experiment to see his films through the protective lens of a review. Watching his films unprotected leads to madness.
Fortunately, our protection is Christopher Lee. He is the only thing holding this film together. He acts as the Van Helsing of this movie. Which is odd considering he played Dracula in the past. He tells everyone about the werewolves and how Titanium actually works better than silver. Which is sound advice outside of Supernatural situations.
So yeah, this film opens with Christopher Lee IN SPACE reading a creepy verse from the bible(or a bible, not necessarily the holy one) and then a Skeleton slowly creeps up behind him. Not an animated skeleton, just a laboratory skeleton. For no reason.
Christopher Lee tells Reb Brown that his sister(the main character of Howling 1 who turned into a werewolf before getting killed) is a werewolf. Reb Brown calls bullshit and stops Christopher Lee from stabbing her in the heart with a titanium rod(because Werewolves are Vampires in this movie). Reb Brown screams about how he won’t let Christopher Lee harm his sister, just before his sister turns into a werewolf and Reb Brown IMMEDIATELY shoots her in the Head.
After Reb Brown fights off several more werewolves, they learn they must kill the Stirba, who lives in Transylvania(Because Werewolves are Vampires in this movie).
They go to Transylvania where Christopher Lee’s sister, the Stirba, sucks the life force out of a woman to become young and beautiful again, before stripping off her clothes and joining in a werewolf threesome. And yes it is weird. They go half wolf so they are all hairy. Which would be a great time for a Dollar Shave Club ad.
Naturally Reb Brown’s love interest gets captured and Christopher Lee and Reb Brown murder a ton of werewolves to go rescue her and kill the Stirba. The Stirba has gone full lady gaga at this point and uses the bat on her staff to kill the Priest trying to kill her(BECAUSE WEREWOLVES ARE VAMPIRES IN THIS MOVIE).
Reb Brown saves the girl, Christopher Lee sacrifices himself to kill his sister, and they all live happily ever after. OR DO THEY?
A kid with too good of werewolf costume shows up at their door on halloween, and the weird priest across the hall claims he has no children. So. . . mystery?
The ending credits use the only song used constantly throughout the film in a music video of various clips throughout the movie, and specifically uses the clip where the Stirba shows her boobs about 17 times(according to Jon Tron).
I think this was a fun movie, and definitely recommend you check it out.
Tomorrow: Since we covered bad Werewolves, I think it is time to cover real Vampires! . . .maybe, could go either way.