3 Wicked Witches

THE WORST HALLOWEEN movies EVER!

Tonight: 3 Wicked Witches

Well, 2 wicked witches and one accessory witch.

This is what you get when you mix a trashy romance novel with a goosebumps book and film it over the weekend.

A woman finds out that her daughter who died a year ago from an “accident” during a hazing prank gone wrong, actually died from running away from a bunch of frat guys looking to rape her. Apparently somebody recorded the whole thing and decided to post it a year after the fact. Mind you, we never see the video, we just hear the audio of several actors speaking lines, in which clearly none of them are in the same room at the time.

She brings this evidence to her college friends she used to do witchcraft with and they decide to summon a revenge demon, implant it in a clown doll, and have him kill the frat boys.

The clown doll goes on his murder quest and the witches watch his progress by using their pool as a viewing window. Which pretty much just looks like it is being projected from the roof.

So apparently the demon clown, like the witches, is a horny bastard because he spends about 10-15 minutes watching all the frat boys work out, swim, shower, and sleep before stabbing them in the dick and killing them. By the way, these frat guys do all of this in the same pair of tight white boxer briefs. I’m really starting to wonder if this movie is just a long advertisement for this particular pair of male underwear.

So while the clown doll is killing the frat boys, the witches all get intense feelings from the killings. Two of the witches get orgasms, and the other (goodish witch) gets a sick painful feeling. The main witch goes inside and finds the goodish witch’s son and finds out he is a virgin. So she intends to sacrifice him (after acting like she wants to deflower him). She strips him down to his boxers, to find out HE IS ALSO ONE OF THE TIGHTY WHITEY FRAT BOYS! (WHAT A TWIST!)

Nah, just kidding, just the same boxer briefs again.

Anywho, the goodish witch discovers the attempted sacrifice, the witch whose daughter died offers herself as sacrifice instead, and then the clown doll kills the head witch. Then when all things are said and done, the clown doll pops up for one final kill before the credits roll.

The effects are laughably basic. There is only one instance of blood and that is the final frat kill. Hell, you can see the tiny fake knife that the clown uses bend as it hits the skin. And this isn’t Chucky who has a full sized kitchen knife, this is a tiny doll knife the clown is using.

If you want to watch an extended male underwear ad, go for it, but otherwise skip it.

In fact, any movies by Rapid Heart Productions should best be avoided.

Tomorrow: I think it’s about time to see another Ed Wood movie on this list. This one I hear is one of the worst of his films, if not the worst.