Lumber VS Jack

THE WORST HALLOWEEN movies EVER!

Tonight: Lumber VS Jack

The sequel was better. Monsters in this are mostly leaves and vines that decapitate people.

This is the movie that starts the Jack series. Jack is apparently married to Jill, or he was as they keep having to correct to “my EX wife.” Jill suddenly disappeared, and Jack is called in to help find her. He left the company that genetically modified the trees because. . .

So he goes out and finds that the trees are apparently have been spliced with spider dna. That way the trees grow much faster because SCIENCE! Apparently this doesn’t allow the trees to naturally spread though. They irradiate the trees to correct that problem, which results in the trees getting murdery with their leaves and vines. Jack eventually ends up rescuing Jill and together they burn down the forest of evil mutant trees. However in the process their boss(or former boss in Jack’s case) is killed by the giant tree spider thing.

This movie is kind of a let down after watching Jack VS Lanterns. The absolute insanity of the pumpkins trying to take over the world, the giant pumpkin, the pumpkin bomb, the clones, the ninja assassins, and everything else just made it glorious to behold. This had its ridiculous moments, like the jeep that gets swallowed by the earth is just a stop motion model. But all in all, I want my crappy movies to be batshit insane rather than just low quality.

Tomorrow: This movie has a slight environmental message to it. Wonder if this next movie does. . .

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