THE WORST HALLOWEEN movies EVER!
Tonight: Birdemic 2: The Resurrection
So. . . they can’t POSSIBLY screw up a movie twice, right? Obviously at this point, everyone is in on the joke so this will just be a full on spoof of the first one, right?
Well, some people are in on the bit, but not the ones in creative control. So yeah, it is roughly just as bad as the first one.
There is better camera equipment, which you can see in various scenes in the movie by the reflective surfaces and at the edges of several shots. However despite all the boom mics you see throughout the film, the audio has not improved.
So we are introduced to our lead. . . producer man, I don’t care about learning his name. He spends the 3-5 minutes of the opening credits walking to The Happy Ending bar and grill. There he meets his blonde romantic interest of the film who is an actress working as a waitress. She walks him through a completely empty restaurant, that somehow still has background noise of people having conversations. Then, stealing a scene(movie) from the first movie, the producer calls her a beautiful actress and says she should audition for his movie. Then, Rod and Natalie show up(AAAAHHHHH RUN FOR THE HILLS!) and then the producer says Natalie should also audition for his movie. And Rod offers to invest a million dollars. Guess the solar panel business is doing well.
Then we go through various scenes of the producer wining and dining his blonde love interest. Then they run into Rod and Natalie again. Natalie got stuck with a supporting role and clearly does not care for the new blonde. Anywho, while they are walking on a beach, a nearby swimmer is attacked by a Giant Jumbo Jellyfish. And it is the most ridiculous CGI you have EVER SEEN! And this is from the film franchise that has instagram filter birds! So they call for the stop motion ambulance to come pick up the swimmer and then go about their day.
And the jellyfish is never mentioned again.
So then they go to a museum of natural history with the boy from the first movie, who apparently Rod adopted, and spend a long time looking at Ancient Birds. The boy then talks about how the girl from the first movie died from the fish that Rod cooked. And that’s why she doesn’t make the same cameo appearance.
Then the producer takes his blonde back to the hotel and they start to make out in their underwear. Underneath a boom mic. With a crew member CLEARLY shown in the mirror watching them.
So the next day, everyone is on the film set when red rain falls down(cue Peter Gabriel) and it resurrects ZOMBIE ANCIENT BIRDS! And even cave people!
So the zombie birds attack the film set and everyone goes straight for the hangers! On top of that, they’ve included round house kicks and flailing punches to the arsenal of anti bird attacks. Then we cut to a slasher film set where a bunch of topless women are standing around in a locker room. Which really undercuts the producer’s earlier message of wanting to make a movie without just a bunch of boobs, blood, and pointless action scenes. You know, just like the first movie was all about the environment, but still had the main character driving a mustang and a van throughout the whole movie.
At one point, the screenwriter that is with them interrupts their conversation about the bird crisis they are facing to talk about how his favorite movie is Jaws and that these events are giving him an idea to write a script about birds attacking Hollywood. . . . Because priorities.
The group then goes all around hollywood trying to “save people” and failing miserably. They even come across a theater full of people that are being attacked by birds, and decide to just leave them all to die. They do try and stop and help zombies, who attack and kill one of their party, then try and stop and help Zombie Cavemen, which would have killed one of their party if not for Natalie going into berserker rage with a tripod!
Eventually they make it back to the hotel where the birds make their final attack while everyone is drinking A&W root beer. . .or Coke and Sprite, depends on which shot you go with. After the birds finally kill the screenwriter and prevent an in-universe birdemic film from being made, the birds decide to fly away. For no reason. The end.
If you thought Birdemic Shock and Terror was hilariously insane and you feel like watching it a second time, then Birdemic 2: The Resurrection is that film. It is like that episode of friends where joey intended to rent Die Hard and Die Hard 2, but ended up accidently renting die hard twice.
Tomorrow: This is it. The movie that inspired this whole event is coming up tomorrow!🍍🎃