Avengers: Endgame (2019)


This Week: Avengers: Endgame (2019)

I am just sitting here, staring at the screen that just has “This Week: Avengers: Endgame (2019)” written on it.  I’m not sure what I can write.

I have been watching these movies since 2008.  Midnight showings for almost every one of them.  Over a decade of dedication.  This movie is the capstone.  The Russo Brothers stated that you only need to watch 2 movies to see this one.  Civil War and Infinity War.

The Russo Brothers lied to you.  I would say the only movie you don’t need to see is Incredible Hulk.  I spent the last week watching EVERY marvel movie and it fully prepped me for everything.  Save for one thing I had to look up, but it was one of my guesses.

This movie is literally the culmination of everything since 2008.  If you go in not having seen any of the MCU movies, you are very likely leaving stuff on the table.

It is good, it is long, it is worth it.  I would say if you need a bathroom break, it is in the first hour.  After that, I would say walk away at your own risk.

Spoiler warnings:


This movie is extremely satisfying.  Almost everything we wanted to see in over a decade of Marvel movies, we get.

This movie is long and it stretches its legs on its length.  Several of the Marvel movies are long.  Infinity War was 2 hours and 40 minutes.  This is only about 20 minutes longer, but there is a world of difference between Infinity War being long and Endgame being long.

Infinity War was a building story all the way to the end.  You couldn’t really walk away.  It’s like a choreographed dance. Every step lead perfectly to the next one.

Endgame maintains this set up for about half an hour, then the dance is over and everyone just sort of mulls around for about half an hour or so until they decide to dance again.

Captain Marvel shows up, saves Tony from Space, and then everybody tracks down Thanos.  Thanos apparently destroyed the Infinity stones and nearly died in doing it.  Then Thor takes Thanos’ advice and goes for the head.  Thanos is dead, but half the universe is gone for good.

We cut to 5 years later and everyone is dealing with the fallout of the snap.  Some people try to rebuild, some people give up, and some go in an entirely new direction.  A good deal of the first hour is just establishing where everyone ended up following the fallout.

Then a rat brings Ant-Man back.  Really?  Everything that happens in this movie is entirely dependent on a rat “accidently” activating a quantum vortex manipulator.  I wonder how many futures Doctor Strange saw that the rat got hit by a rat trap.  Or get thwarted by the Great Mouse Detective.

After Ant-man returns and mentions he has a time travel idea and we go and find the Avengers who aren’t still living at the compound.

2 of the Avengers have DRASTICALLY changed.  And they remain that way for the rest of the movie.  I am just generally not a fan of reducing heroes to jokes.  Ultimately when everything is on the table, they man up and are the heroes we know and love, but I could have done without the permanent changes for comedic effect.

So they all jump back in time to the old movies and do a really good job tying in the old movies.  Though I don’t quite follow how their time travel rules work, but they can basically go back and do whatever without creating another timeline or wrenching the universe apart.  That’s convenient.

The scenes in the past are actually awesome as hell.  I have nothing to say about them that is worth spoiling.

They undo the snap, and then Thanos circa 2014 shows up and blasts everything to hell. . .but manages not to kill anyone.  Then the rest of the movie plays on in awesomeness.

One thing I’m not sure I feel about is Spider-man.  Spider-man returns along with everyone else in the Snap and helps participate in the War.  And Spider-man activates Instant Kill.  He’s fighting Thanos’ mindless mutant monster things, so it might be okay, but I’m not sure how comfortable I am with Spider-man actually killing.  Most of the Marvel Heroes I am totally okay with killing these things because their moral code does not prevent them from killing enemy combatants.  Spider-man’s does.  He won’t kill people if he has any other choice.  He has killed people by accident and once or twice directly, but he wouldn’t activate Instant Kill.  I think the Russo Brothers saw this gag in Homecoming and wanted to flesh it out in Endgame.

So there is actually a very low death count in this movie.  One death, that happens towards the middle, I didn’t care for.  It just felt like the wrong way to go out.

In the end we get another death and a parting of the ways.  The death saved the world and was a fitting end to the character.  I actually was tearing up a bit as they went.  The parting of the ways also was very fitting and I was happy to have their journey end that way.  They deserved it.  It was reminiscent of Furious 7.  We knew the character was leaving, but wasn’t sure how.  And since they didn’t die in the massive war, they had to back out of the action somehow.

So there is a funeral at the end of the movie.  It pans over a TON of characters that we have seen over a variety of marvel movies.  Then it pans over this one kid.  And nobody has ANY idea who this kid is.  Seriously, on the car ride home, I just suddenly turned to my fiancé out of nowhere and go, “Who the hell was that kid?” And even though we had mentioned NOTHING up until this point, she responds, “I have no idea, I was going to ask you that!”  So we looked it up and apparently it is the kid from the dead character’s third movie, now all grown up.

Despite all the spoiler warnings, I am REALLY trying to avoid just plopping out “Snape kills Dumbledore” level spoilers.  I already heard someone is out there sharing gifs of the finale cut into gifs of a blonde Wonder Woman shaking her ass.  Don’t look at anything until you have seen the movie(he says LONG after the spoiler tags).

As I said, the movie is long and honestly it could have cut a decent amount to get a more flowing narrative, but this takes place just after the universe got cut in half.  Hope is gone.  So we have the scenes where people are just collecting themselves after the fallout.  This movie is a 6 part series instead of a one shot.  It doesn’t have to keep the tempo up to keep everyone around.  It paces itself and takes its time.  It starts a little slow, but once it gets to the third act, everything is full steam ahead.

So I did 22 movies, 22 reviews, in 7 days.  Wow.  Guess I should probably get back to that Dark Universe thing then, huh?

Next Week: The Long Dolls Intruder.  Charlize Theron buys a home from a bunch of deformed toys who terrorize her when she doesn’t keep the house how they want it.


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